a page from the diary of heart

Moving away from your home is tough especially when you have hardly left it for last 17 years, when you have always been provided with the luxuries at your command and specially when you are an introvert and reserved kind of person. In this case shifting becomes 1000 times harder. Your mind just keeps spinning with all kind of turns and twist that your life can take when you are all alone. There are zillions of questions arising in your head, the heart beats even faster and the anxiety of new life just never fades your soul.

For me moving to Delhi was a dreadful experience of my mind. It always had hundreds of answered questions. The one that never left my heart and mind was how will I survive? What will happen, will I be able to make up a new life or will it be a failure? It made me scared. All my insecurities were starting to wake up. Being from not such a big city and moving to the capital did have lots of affect in me. Suddenly I was exposed to the independence in all spheres-the decision making of what to do how to do, how to spend, what kind of schedule to follow, where to go and everything. It was all me who had to think and act as quickly as possible. I won’t deny to the fact that initially all this was hard in fact very scary. A person who just did not talk o her friends so much had to face the strangers, deal with all and every situation on her own. It was indeed hard and I did make mistakes. But all these blunders just made me strong and gave me the courage to just do it.

All my doubts were settled because of the wonderful people that I met. They supported me, taught me a lot more about life. Somewhat all the people whom I encountered made me aware about the human psychology and mind. When I came to Delhi I used to think that it’s me who has so many doubts and the fear of dealing with new life, but actually it’s all of us who have them. It’s just that, like I hid them inside me and didn't want people to know what all games my mind was playing with me, similarly even they didn't wanted to express it. Maybe talking it out aloud would have been better as it would have lessened the mind torture of those endless questions but as it is said life always teaches in its own ways. My journey taught me that we all have insecurities, we all are worried of what next now, we face the similar mind trouble and fears but then too we never see that the crowd in which we are running is also part of the same emotional turmoil. It’s just that we all have learnt to put a strong face but from inside we go through the same process. We may have different troubles at different times but in whole the troubles are the same.

This whole journey of mine made me a totally different person; it made me see through the crowd. Delhi didn't only give me lifetime memories and friendship but also the confidence to be able to face anything that comes ahead. It’s not that now I don’t fear or don’t have any anxiety, still my stomach gets butterflies, but now, my mind and heart and my whole body tells me that I am not the only one we all are same so why to fear, even the silliest of mistake that I make will be made by some other person at another place and time or may have been made by some already, so why to worry; just be confident and have the strength to accept your fears and mistakes and bring the change, because whatever it is, is temporary and mostly a trick of your mind to scare you.